America, or at least Southern Indiana, contains many cross-eyed folks, many folks with a completely vacant expression, the kind you get when breeding occurs within towns too small to be recorded on a map; towns that no-one outside of the town seems to know exists.
Some of these folks have made their way to UE Campus...one of these has a large hairy mole on his face and is known in certain circles (namely my circle) as Moley.
Moley is special. Moley is not skilled in the art of conversation. Moley asks strange questions and tells strange little factoids. Moley said he was messed up because the TV shows were on at different time, Moley did not know how to reply to an email. Moley does not understand that subtle gestures such as grunting, turning one's head away, walking away, not making eye contact means one does not wish to speak with him. Moley thinks that if you smile at him once you must love him in some way and this means he is permitted to stare at you and drool through his bucked teeth and follow you around maintaining a distance of only around a metre away. Moley is special.
One time Moley surprised me, I looked up and shouted "FUCK! MOLEY!" as I was so startled by his cross-eyed, bucked toothed, hairy moled gawking. This may have been responsible for some Moley tears but at least he didn't speak to me again.
Some people may think me mean for such behaviour but I really do not care. I am minus one creepy stalker and that makes every day a more positive experience.
Moley Moley Moley.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
How I have managed to waste at least an hour of my life every week....
Well it seems as though UE college life is dominated by a series of completely pointless committees.
Each residence hall has a Hall Council, of a President, Vice, Secretary and Treasurer; they must also have Hall Representatives for RSA(Resident Student Association), SGA(Student Governance Association), FAB(Food Advisory Board), HIP(something about buildings) and probably some more organisations, I lost count and interest somewhere within the first few minutes...Each of those organisations must contain reps from all the other ones and hold weekly meetings and based on experience to date, the meetings are all the damn same.
They also have bizarre regulations, you have to call everything and get it seconded and this makes the meetings last about four times as long as they really need to, even though they are so pointless they don't even need to happen!
I ended up being one of the RSA reps for Moore Hall and I already regret all the drudgery, I'm not sure if anyone understands the rules they have set for themselves and are just getting on like pricks because they are a bit bewildered by all the incomprehensible bureaucracy or if these committees just consist of pricks full stop.
The worst thing was Moley was there.
I will give Moley his own post.
Moley Moley Moley.
Each residence hall has a Hall Council, of a President, Vice, Secretary and Treasurer; they must also have Hall Representatives for RSA(Resident Student Association), SGA(Student Governance Association), FAB(Food Advisory Board), HIP(something about buildings) and probably some more organisations, I lost count and interest somewhere within the first few minutes...Each of those organisations must contain reps from all the other ones and hold weekly meetings and based on experience to date, the meetings are all the damn same.
They also have bizarre regulations, you have to call everything and get it seconded and this makes the meetings last about four times as long as they really need to, even though they are so pointless they don't even need to happen!
I ended up being one of the RSA reps for Moore Hall and I already regret all the drudgery, I'm not sure if anyone understands the rules they have set for themselves and are just getting on like pricks because they are a bit bewildered by all the incomprehensible bureaucracy or if these committees just consist of pricks full stop.
The worst thing was Moley was there.
I will give Moley his own post.
Moley Moley Moley.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Feckin Whiskey!
I just found Feckin Whiskey in the Liquor Store round the corner from UE.
Made in Portaferry.
Could not stop smiling.
You never truly know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes..
Well I say, you can never really know America until you've travelled a mile in a Greyhound Bus.....or 1153 miles to be exact.
There was an alcoholic father and son who liked to walk up and down the bus even though they were so drunk they couldn't stand and couldn't remember which seat they were in even though there were no other free seats on the bus apart from the ones they had just got up from.
Mullets.
People that take up more than their fair half of a double seat.
About one good tooth between the whole bus.
People that smell like piss; or more accurately, people who smell like piss died on them and it's now rotting on them.
There was a man who had all his belongings wrapped in a little bundle clutched to his chest who also had an open pussing wound the size of his whole cheek on his face that he tried to keep covered with a dirty rag.
Then there was an old black lady, she must have been about 60 odd, she managed to sneak her way onto the bus. I think she was a tramp and had just wanted somewhere warm to sleep. Someone told the bus driver at the next stop and he literally dragged her off and just left her at this garage we had stopped at. She could barely walk and said she hadn't slept for two days.
All you hear about America when you're abroad is about the American Dream, the American Way of Life, the prosperity, but it didn't happen for these people.
They asked me if I was a movie star, they said I looked like I was a movie star travelling incognito. They said I didn't belong on their bus.
In this giant expanse of land they call the United States of America it is very easy to be forgotten. No one wants to know about these people. No one wants to ride their bus.
There was an alcoholic father and son who liked to walk up and down the bus even though they were so drunk they couldn't stand and couldn't remember which seat they were in even though there were no other free seats on the bus apart from the ones they had just got up from.
Mullets.
People that take up more than their fair half of a double seat.
About one good tooth between the whole bus.
People that smell like piss; or more accurately, people who smell like piss died on them and it's now rotting on them.
There was a man who had all his belongings wrapped in a little bundle clutched to his chest who also had an open pussing wound the size of his whole cheek on his face that he tried to keep covered with a dirty rag.
Then there was an old black lady, she must have been about 60 odd, she managed to sneak her way onto the bus. I think she was a tramp and had just wanted somewhere warm to sleep. Someone told the bus driver at the next stop and he literally dragged her off and just left her at this garage we had stopped at. She could barely walk and said she hadn't slept for two days.
All you hear about America when you're abroad is about the American Dream, the American Way of Life, the prosperity, but it didn't happen for these people.
They asked me if I was a movie star, they said I looked like I was a movie star travelling incognito. They said I didn't belong on their bus.
In this giant expanse of land they call the United States of America it is very easy to be forgotten. No one wants to know about these people. No one wants to ride their bus.
Chicago
So I had a most awesome weekend in Chicago.
It all started with essentially getting stood up/majorly fucked around/ whatever by a stupid American "bad-ass" so I was left with two days to go til Fall Break and no plans....
Ok so I booked a bus to Chicago...then discovered there was no accomodation to be found in Chicago apart from some hostel with comments such as...
bed bugs, mice, crack dealers..."should be quarantined and condemned" etc
so I'm like fuck this, lets try and find a couch on couchsurfing, which also didn't work, so my good friend Daniel suggested a site called Craig's List which is like our gumtree and I found a random person renting out his room short term...PICK ME PICK ME I CRIED! so we spoke and he had had a few drinks and was feeling adventurous and I got myself a cool place to stay, yeeeeha!
and the weekend was great, I got to hang out at the beach at Lake Michigan and look at the water which calmed me down no end, I didn't even realise how much I was missing the sea until I was there just looking out at this great expanse of water, the water is free, it's nature, it cannot be controlled by humans, it has its own spirit. I am so lucky to have grown up by the sea. It was also just great to be in a city, where I could be by myself and be independant, not like in Evansville where I have to depend on people for lifts if I want to do anything.
Damn it was depressing when the man next to me on the bus on the way home told me I was back in Evansville and I had no idea. It is indistinguishable from any other place we'd driven through in the Midwest, just an expanse of highways with fast-food joints and motels and screw all else. Living the American Dream!
And my experience staying with my new friend Matthis was interesting too, Chicago's very own Phil Lynott, looking forward to my next couch-surfing experience, it's how I plan to roll for the whole of Christmas Break and I hope I have a friend in Chicago that I can always call on for Tamale (though I'm still not 100% clear what that is!) and dive bars!
It all started with essentially getting stood up/majorly fucked around/ whatever by a stupid American "bad-ass" so I was left with two days to go til Fall Break and no plans....
Ok so I booked a bus to Chicago...then discovered there was no accomodation to be found in Chicago apart from some hostel with comments such as...
bed bugs, mice, crack dealers..."should be quarantined and condemned" etc
so I'm like fuck this, lets try and find a couch on couchsurfing, which also didn't work, so my good friend Daniel suggested a site called Craig's List which is like our gumtree and I found a random person renting out his room short term...PICK ME PICK ME I CRIED! so we spoke and he had had a few drinks and was feeling adventurous and I got myself a cool place to stay, yeeeeha!
and the weekend was great, I got to hang out at the beach at Lake Michigan and look at the water which calmed me down no end, I didn't even realise how much I was missing the sea until I was there just looking out at this great expanse of water, the water is free, it's nature, it cannot be controlled by humans, it has its own spirit. I am so lucky to have grown up by the sea. It was also just great to be in a city, where I could be by myself and be independant, not like in Evansville where I have to depend on people for lifts if I want to do anything.
Damn it was depressing when the man next to me on the bus on the way home told me I was back in Evansville and I had no idea. It is indistinguishable from any other place we'd driven through in the Midwest, just an expanse of highways with fast-food joints and motels and screw all else. Living the American Dream!
And my experience staying with my new friend Matthis was interesting too, Chicago's very own Phil Lynott, looking forward to my next couch-surfing experience, it's how I plan to roll for the whole of Christmas Break and I hope I have a friend in Chicago that I can always call on for Tamale (though I'm still not 100% clear what that is!) and dive bars!
Monday, October 5, 2009
5 Hour Energy
I have been awake for about two days now, thanks to an amazing little magic bottle of wonder known as 5 hour energy. I love it, it is the answer for people like myself who leave everything to the last minute and who are in America so they can't miss class EVER, waaaaahhh.
I miss term time holidays.
I miss term time holidays.
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