Thursday, December 24, 2009

I'll Bring You Flowers In The Pouring Rain

I'm lying in bed in Clinton, Indiana. It has just turned midnight here, it's Christmas Day. I think I am on Eastern Time. In my home town, which according to Google is 3750 miles away, on GMT, I can imagine countless families already opening their presents.

I read a quote last night:

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family, all wrapped up in each other."

I don't want to think about whether my mother will cry this Christmas, because I am not there, not wrapped up in my family. No one ever asked me to come home.

I read another quote:

"Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or a day of prayer, but it will always be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved"

I am full of regrets, I have hurt so many people so far on my journey through life. I was cold and I had locked myself up. I like to think I am trying to be a better person all the time. I like to think I am honest, I like to think I keep my word, I like to think I do not let anybody down, I like to think I am more open. But now I am getting hurt like those people I have hurt before. Christmas is about love though. I don't believe in the religious aspect anymore, but I enjoy the love that it symbolises. I enjoy the message, keep on giving, keep the warmth. Any pain I am going through is probably just something a bit like karma. I will keep on trying to better myself. Like Scrooge.

I will honour Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all through the year. I will live in the Past, the Present and the Future. The spirits of all three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.

No comments:

Post a Comment