Small Town Suffocation

so i'm spending Christmas in a town called Clinton, its in Indiana, population 5000ish.

It certainly seems to have nothing to do in it.

The first night I arrived it was snowing, I went for a walk, it was beautiful. My host took me for a drive around, every building is different, thrown together from planks of wood, american flags flying, porches with little chairs at the fronts, randomly sitting on the grass, no fences or walls to mark the properties boundaries, but I have no doubt that each person knows precisely which blades of grass belong to them and which to their neighbours.

Some of the properties look like junkyards, some are uninhabited, burnt-out or falling down, some just look like they are. The main street is full of recently empty buildings. America is in a recession. There are potholes in the streets, there are potholes in the very few sidewalks. Only one street seems to have streetlights, the rest may have an occasional one on the corner of certain blocks.

The streets are full of SUVs, full of liquor stores, but empty of people.

On the wall in Dairy Queen was a notice. It warned that in the state of Indiana it is illegal to purchase more than 3g of ephedrine or pseudoephedrine within a seven day period. These drugs are found in many common cold remedies and are used to make meth. "Help us make Vermillion County a Meth Free Zone" was the plea from the Sheriff.

Kids in America smoke weed and take pills, they do meth. I have met countless who do this. Some of my friends here do this. If they would just take them all and put them in pubs, give them a few beers, give them somewhere to go, something to do, a place to meet others....well I can't help but think that they'd be a lot better off.

My host is not twenty one for another 5 days. My host does not wish to leave the house. I have never felt so alone and trapped my entire life. I have nowhere to go and I want to escape. It's been two days. And I know I have a way out in a weeks time. I am escaping to Boston, to Virginia, to New York, finally to Evansville.

If I had grown up here, in a run down town, with no job and nothing to do, well who's to blame me if I find my escape in substances....this is the Midwest, with the nations biggest meth problem, this is Wabash Valley, from Terre Haute down to Evansville, where its King. There ain't no other way out.

I am full of sadness.